


Equidistant, Never Touching

by Veldeia



Category: Avengers Assemble (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Episode Related, M/M, Mutual Pining, Non-Linear Narrative, POV First Person, Unconventional Format
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-12
Updated: 2017-03-12
Packaged: 2018-10-02 08:43:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10213808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Veldeia/pseuds/Veldeia
Summary: The battle against Ultron is over, and the Avengers won, but the price was terribly high. Steve and Tony have a lot on their minds as they part ways in the no-tech magical realm that is now Tony's prison.(A glimpse into our heroes' heads duringthatscene in Avengers Assemble Season 3 ep 26: "Civil War, Part 4: Avengers Revolution".)Written for the 10 ficlets for 10 years of Steve/Tony mini-event, to represent Avengers Assemble!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Not sure if my attempts at fancy table formatting will work properly on all devices; if you'd rather read this in a more conventional format, click on to [Chapter 2](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10213808/chapters/22707221) (it's the same text, just differently organized).
> 
> Beta thanks to [antigrav_vector](http://archiveofourown.org/users/antigrav_vector/pseuds/antigrav_vector)!

#### (Tony)

|  | 

#### (Steve)  
  
---|---|---  
  
I've always known Ultron is smart, but to take over my body and use me as a human shield, confident that the Avengers wouldn't want to harm me—that really shows how well he's learned to understand the human mind. He almost won today.

Everything happened so quickly.

One second, I was struggling to hold on to my very soul as Ultron took over everything that I am, waiting for the Avengers to come to the only conclusion that was left: to kill me, and to finish Ultron.

|  | 

I thought I was prepared to fight to every last man if that was what it took to stop Ultron, and yet, I wasn't prepared for what happened: for Tony staring at us with glowing red eyes, his face an emotionless mask of artificial intelligence, speaking with Ultron's metallic voice.

Everyone else picked up their weapons, then, pointing them at him. I grabbed my shield as well, but I never aimed it at him. I tell myself that was because I knew it wouldn't do any damage anyway. Of course, that's not really the whole truth.  
  
The next, I found myself at the bottom of a pit in a magical limbo, my mind free, but the sudden painful weight in my chest telling me that my arc reactor was offline.

Strange had pulled me into this realm where technology doesn't work. Unfortunately, I'm almost as dependent on it as Ultron is.

|  | 

It was only Dr. Strange's last-minute appearance that saved us from having to commit that terrible deed, offering a slightly better solution.

In a pink cloud of magic, he whisked us to this mysterious dimension where tech doesn't work—neither Ultron's, nor Tony's.  
  
As I tried to gather my wits, I heard Strange explain to the others that he could cast a spell to keep me alive, but it would trap me here. Clearly, there wasn't much choice, then.

With every last ounce of strength I could gather, I climbed up and told him to do it, and he didn't hesitate.

Seconds later, I woke up, feeling physically better, but otherwise...

Well, here we are.

|  | 

As the last red glow faded from Tony's eyes, I saw to my horror how the light of his arc reactor shifted from red to its usual light blue, and then went out entirely.

Strange promised he could keep Tony alive and Ultron away, but it would mean that Tony couldn't leave. I wanted to shout no, wanted to insist that there would have to be another way, but Tony, looking like he was barely clinging on to life, told Strange to do it, and that was all the permission he needed.

Tony is trapped in this place.  
  
I'm trapped, with Ultron still lurking in the inert arc reactor. Even if I could leave, that would I'd risk unleashing Ultron on the world again. I won't do that.

If this is the price I must pay to keep him from causing any further harm, I'll happily pay it. This mess is my fault anyway. If not for all my tech that Ultron repurposed, none of this would have happened.

I can handle this. Really, I'm surprisingly okay with the situation. That's not to say I'm not freaking out. I'm very freaked out, but I can mostly keep it from showing. I'm not a sobbing, panicked mess. I'm quite proud of myself. Of course, this is mostly because anything is preferable to being mind-controlled by Ultron, and because my brain vehemently refuses to consider the idea that there's no way out. There's always a way out.

This is temporary. It's got to be. I'll figure out a way to return. I always do.

|  | 

In a place that's completely alien and incomprehensible, full of massive structures floating in nothingness, colors that no painter could ever put on canvas. Magic everywhere, and no technology. I know how much Tony hates magic, and how dearly he prizes his tech. Of course he does; he's only alive because of it. Or rather, he used to be. Now he's alive because of magic.

God, this must be like his worst nightmare.

I look at him, standing across from me, so close it feels like I could almost touch him, and yet, so far beyond our reach. He looks dead serious, but surprisingly calm. It's only because I know him so well that I can see a hint of carefully contained terror.

I'm barely aware of the other Avengers by my side, every single thought focused on Tony. When the others speak up, catching my attention, they're speaking aloud the exact things I'm thinking of: that we can't leave Tony here, all alone.  
  
The others are standing on a platform like the one I'm on, but between us is a gap falling to bottomless depths between us, and I know we can't cross it.

Hulk and Thor, bless them, try to get to me anyway, but an invisible barrier blocks them, as impenetrable as solid vibranium.

They're saying they won't go without me, but I know they must.

|  | 

Hulk tries to smash the invisible wall separating us from him, and Thor joins in. I feel like doing the same, taking out my frustration and fear on something physical, but I know it wouldn't help. No amount of strength will be enough to break through that barrier.

There has to be some way through it, though. We need to figure out a way to take him with us. We can't leave without him.  
  
"You have to," I command. This is going to be the last order I give to the Avengers in a long time. Important words. "Work with the others. Rebuild trust between humans and Inhumans. There are a lot of fences to mend."

Out of all the other Avengers facing me, none look as desperate as Steve.

|  | 

"You have to," Tony insists. "Work with the others. Rebuild trust between humans and Inhumans. There are a lot of fences to mend."

His voice is steady. This isn't the witty banter of a billionaire genius. This is the man behind the facade: a hero, a leader. The man I would follow anywhere, and now he's asking me to leave him behind.  
  
"You wouldn't leave any of us, we're not going to abandon you," Steve says, and he reaches out towards me, his hand brushing that barrier between worlds.

I reach out towards him, too, and I think I can feel something, like a warm ripple, through that magical surface where his fingers almost touch mine, though it's probably just my imagination.

|  | 

"You wouldn't leave any of us. We're not going to abandon you," I tell him, struggling to sound as composed as he does.

I reach out towards him, pressing my hand against the wall that is keeping us apart. He does the same, our fingertips so very close. Even through my glove, I imagine I can feel the warmth of his hand against mine. I want to hold his hand so badly. I already miss him.  
  
"We all have work to do. I just have to do it from here," I tell him, trying to keep a brave face, because Steve looks as close to tears as I've ever seen him.

Oh, Steve. All the things I've wanted to tell you and haven't—all the years I've fought by your side and lived together with you and wondered—I love you so much. I hope you understand. It's not something I've ever said aloud, though maybe you can guess.

|  | 

"We all have work to do," Tony says, still unwavering. "I just have to do it from here."

Oh, Tony. Always so focused on what must be done, no matter what impossible situation you're faced with. I admire you so much. More than admire. I love you. I have never said it, and now—I can't just tell you as my parting words, when I'm not even sure you feel the same. I don't know if I'll ever get the chance. I have to say something, at least.  
  
"Tony, you've been the best friend I've had since..." Steve begins, and I expect him to mention a name, a time, but he doesn't. "Well, maybe ever," he finishes.

He's not saying 'I love you', and I don't know if he ever will. I do think he loves me as a friend, but beyond that—I don't know. I wish I could be sure. I love him in every possible way, with all my heart. I want to share the rest of my life with him.

|  | 

"Tony," I begin. "You've been the best friend I've had since..." Have I really ever felt like this about anyone else? I don't think I have. "Well, maybe ever."

I want to tell him so much more. I want to breach that barrier with the sheer strength of my love like in a fairy tale, and dispel the evil curse that is Ultron with a kiss. Then, I would wrap my arms around him, hold him tight, and take him home.  
  
If I get back, no, _when_ I get back, I will make things right. I will tell him how I feel. I will ask him if he feels the same. But now is not the time for that.

"I like to think I work best alone, Cap," I say as I slowly, reluctantly draw my hand back, "but the truth is, I'm better because you're my friend."

|  | 

I hope he can hear all the words I dare not speak aloud. He's certainly looking at me as if he can, as if there's no one else in this entire realm but the two of us.

"I like to think I work best alone, Cap, but the truth is, I'm better because you're my friend," he says and even though he pulls back his hand, his eyes never leave mine.  
  
**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Oops, sorry for being all angsty when we're supposed to be celebrating—I'm sure they will be together again eventually in this verse!)
> 
> Happy anniversary, Steve/Tony fandom! <3


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the exact same text as in the previous chapter, just without the artistic parallel-POV formatting!

#### (Tony)

I've always known Ultron is smart, but to take over my body and use me as a human shield, confident that the Avengers wouldn't want to harm me—that really shows how well he's learned to understand the human mind. He almost won today.

Everything happened so quickly.

One second, I was struggling to hold on to my very soul as Ultron took over everything that I am, waiting for the Avengers to come to the only conclusion that was left: to kill me, and to finish Ultron.

The next, I found myself at the bottom of a pit in a magical limbo, my mind free, but the sudden painful weight in my chest telling me that my arc reactor was offline.

Strange had pulled me into this realm where technology doesn't work. Unfortunately, I'm almost as dependent on it as Ultron is.

As I tried to gather my wits, I heard Strange explain to the others that he could cast a spell to keep me alive, but it would trap me here. Clearly, there wasn't much choice, then.

With every last ounce of strength I could gather, I climbed up and told him to do it, and he didn't hesitate.

Seconds later, I woke up, feeling physically better, but otherwise...

Well, here we are.

I'm trapped, with Ultron still lurking in the inert arc reactor. Even if I could leave, that would I'd risk unleashing Ultron on the world again. I won't do that.

If this is the price I must pay to keep him from causing any further harm, I'll happily pay it. This mess is my fault anyway. If not for all my tech that Ultron repurposed, none of this would have happened.

I can handle this. Really, I'm surprisingly okay with the situation. That's not to say I'm not freaking out. I'm very freaked out, but I can mostly keep it from showing. I'm not a sobbing, panicked mess. I'm quite proud of myself. Of course, this is mostly because anything is preferable to being mind-controlled by Ultron, and because my brain vehemently refuses to consider the idea that there's no way out. There's always a way out.

This is temporary. It's got to be. I'll figure out a way to return. I always do.

The others are standing on a platform like the one I'm on, but between us is a gap falling to bottomless depths between us, and I know we can't cross it.

Hulk and Thor, bless them, try to get to me anyway, but an invisible barrier blocks them, as impenetrable as solid vibranium.

They're saying they won't go without me, but I know they must.

"You have to," I command. This is going to be the last order I give to the Avengers in a long time. Important words. "Work with the others. Rebuild trust between humans and Inhumans. There are a lot of fences to mend."

Out of all the other Avengers facing me, none look as desperate as Steve. "You wouldn't leave any of us, we're not going to abandon you," Steve says, and he reaches out towards me, his hand brushing that barrier between worlds.

I reach out towards him, too, and I think I can feel something, like a warm ripple, through that magical surface where his fingers almost touch mine, though it's probably just my imagination.

"We all have work to do. I just have to do it from here," I tell him, trying to keep a brave face, because Steve looks as close to tears as I've ever seen him.

Oh, Steve. All the things I've wanted to tell you and haven't—all the years I've fought by your side and lived together with you and wondered—I love you so much. I hope you understand. It's not something I've ever said aloud, though maybe you can guess.

"Tony, you've been the best friend I've had since..." Steve begins, and I expect him to mention a name, a time, but he doesn't. "Well, maybe ever," he finishes.

He's not saying 'I love you', and I don't know if he ever will. I do think he loves me as a friend, but beyond that—I don't know. I wish I could be sure. I love him in every possible way, with all my heart. I want to share the rest of my life with him.

If I get back, no, _when_ I get back, I will make things right. I will tell him how I feel. I will ask him if he feels the same. But now is not the time for that.

"I like to think I work best alone, Cap," I say as I slowly, reluctantly draw my hand back, "but the truth is, I'm better because you're my friend."

  


* * *

  


#### (Steve)

I thought I was prepared to fight to every last man if that was what it took to stop Ultron, and yet, I wasn't prepared for what happened: for Tony staring at us with glowing red eyes, his face an emotionless mask of artificial intelligence, speaking with Ultron's metallic voice.

Everyone else picked up their weapons, then, pointing them at him. I grabbed my shield as well, but I never aimed it at him. I tell myself that was because I knew it wouldn't do any damage anyway. Of course, that's not really the whole truth.

It was only Dr. Strange's last-minute appearance that saved us from having to commit that terrible deed, offering a slightly better solution.

In a pink cloud of magic, he whisked us to this mysterious dimension where tech doesn't work—neither Ultron's, nor Tony's.

As the last red glow faded from Tony's eyes, I saw to my horror how the light of his arc reactor shifted from red to its usual light blue, and then went out entirely.

Strange promised he could keep Tony alive and Ultron away, but it would mean that Tony couldn't leave. I wanted to shout no, wanted to insist that there would have to be another way, but Tony, looking like he was barely clinging on to life, told Strange to do it, and that was all the permission he needed.

Tony is trapped in this place. In a place that's completely alien and incomprehensible, full of massive structures floating in nothingness, colors that no painter could ever put on canvas. Magic everywhere, and no technology. I know how much Tony hates magic, and how dearly he prizes his tech. Of course he does; he's only alive because of it. Or rather, he used to be. Now he's alive because of magic.

God, this must be like his worst nightmare.

I look at him, standing across from me, so close it feels like I could almost touch him, and yet, so far beyond our reach. He looks dead serious, but surprisingly calm. It's only because I know him so well that I can see a hint of carefully contained terror.

I'm barely aware of the other Avengers by my side, every single thought focused on Tony. When the others speak up, catching my attention, they're speaking aloud the exact things I'm thinking of: that we can't leave Tony here, all alone.

Hulk tries to smash the invisible wall separating us from him, and Thor joins in. I feel like doing the same, taking out my frustration and fear on something physical, but I know it wouldn't help. No amount of strength will be enough to break through that barrier.

There has to be some way through it, though. We need to figure out a way to take him with us. We can't leave without him.

"You have to," Tony insists. "Work with the others. Rebuild trust between humans and Inhumans. There are a lot of fences to mend."

His voice is steady. This isn't the witty banter of a billionaire genius. This is the man behind the facade: a hero, a leader. The man I would follow anywhere, and now he's asking me to leave him behind.

"You wouldn't leave any of us. We're not going to abandon you," I tell him, struggling to sound as composed as he does.

I reach out towards him, pressing my hand against the wall that is keeping us apart. He does the same, our fingertips so very close. Even through my glove, I imagine I can feel the warmth of his hand against mine. I want to hold his hand so badly. I already miss him.

"We all have work to do," Tony says, still unwavering. "I just have to do it from here."

Oh, Tony. Always so focused on what must be done, no matter what impossible situation you're faced with. I admire you so much. More than admire. I love you. I have never said it, and now—I can't just tell you as my parting words, when I'm not even sure you feel the same. I don't know if I'll ever get the chance. I have to say something, at least.

"Tony," I begin. "You've been the best friend I've had since..." Have I really ever felt like this about anyone else? I don't think I have. "Well, maybe ever."

I want to tell him so much more. I want to breach that barrier with the sheer strength of my love like in a fairy tale, and dispel the evil curse that is Ultron with a kiss. Then, I would wrap my arms around him, hold him tight, and take him home.

I hope he can hear all the words I dare not speak aloud. He's certainly looking at me as if he can, as if there's no one else in this entire realm but the two of us.

"I like to think I work best alone, Cap, but the truth is, I'm better because you're my friend," he says and even though he pulls back his hand, his eyes never leave mine.


End file.
